Story of a lost Bible

This is a story that happened to my mom that was too incredible not to share. Being a writer, she asked me to write the story down in a way that could be shared easily with others, so here it is. Such a truly amazing story that I hope gives you some encouragement and belief in things lost being found!

Story of a lost Bible

“I attended a church convention back in ’83 with my family at Niagara University. All the youth from various churches stayed in the dorms.  We had a session and I left without my Bible. When I realized it, my friends and I went back to find it. We couldn’t find it anywhere. I told my youth leader and they reported it to someone on campus to see if anyone had seen it. The announcement of my lost Bible was made at several of the evening sessions but no one had found it or turned it into lost and found.  I was upset because I was given this Bible by my parents for my 16th birthday. I decided that whoever ended up with it needed it more than I did & had hoped God would use His word in their life. I think about that Bible occasionally and wonder about what happened to it. And then a few days ago, I received a letter in the mail from someone connected to Niagara University. “I am writing to you because I think I may have a Bible that belongs to you. Several months ago, I discovered a Bible with my late uncle’s belongings. I am assuming that my uncle found your Bible when he was a chaplain at Niagara University in the 1980’s.” She gave the name listed in the Bible and told me to let her know if the Bible belonged to me and if I want it returned.

At first, I was leery of the letter and wondered if it would be a scam of some kind, but she mentioned a Bible and the University where I lost my Bible and the time frame matched. So…I responded to the email she gave explaining how I lost it at a conference there in the 80’s and it sounded like it was my Bible.  She sent me a picture of a partial inscription and I cried when I saw my mom’s handwriting and confirmed it was mine.  

She then sent me the full inscription where I saw it had been given me by my parents on my 16th birthday.  She mailed the Bible back to me and I’m so excited to see it again! I asked how she found it after all these years and how she found me. She said her uncle passed away in 84 and my Bible got packed in a box with other Bibles and papers. They had been given many of his belongings a few months after he passed, but they didn’t go through all of the boxes at the time. She found it in her attic around Easter last year and read the inscriptions from my mom and thought I might want to have it back.  She searched for me on the internet and found my name in my mom’s obituary from a few years ago. She tried to find contact info for me and sent a message to a phone number that was listed but never received a response because the number belonged to someone else. She later had her niece search Facebook and found who they thought was my brother and sent him a message.  In hindsight, I remember him mentioning he got a weird message on Facebook around that time but they didn’t mention the Bible and knew random facts about us from the obituary so all of us viewed it as a scam of some kind and left it at that. On her uncle’s birthday just recently in January, she decided to reach out again and see if she could locate me and get my Bible back to me. She searched again and sent a letter to the address she found hoping she had found the owner of the Bible. And thus the Bible that was once lost was found and being returned. It is nothing short of a miracle and can only be viewed as a Godwink in my life.  How awesome to receive such a precious gift and be able to see and hold this special Bible again. And what an incredible reminder that things that were lost, even if lost many years ago, can still be found. It may not be in our timing and we may give up on having what was lost returned, but it’s never impossible. What a beautiful story & reminder that God always knows, even when we forget. This will be a favorite story of mine from now on.”

Love Unashamed

God gave us a beautiful picture of what a relationship between a man and a woman is supposed to be when He created Adam and Eve in the Garden. He makes a point of including the phrase, “the man and his wife were both naked and were unashamed,” when He talks about them at the beginning of Genesis. This is such a weird concept for us because ever since Adam and Eve sinned, their first reaction was sudden shame and the desire to cover themselves and we have been living in the shadow of that fallen shame ever since. God shed the first blood by killing an animal to cover their sins with its blood and also used the skin from the animal to make coverings for their bodies. 

When Adam and Eve were created and brought together, not only as the first man and the first woman, but also, the first husband and wife, they were brought together completely perfect and at ease with themselves, with God, and with each other. They didn’t know what it meant to be embarrassed with their bodies or how they felt they looked. They weren’t covering or hiding things from their pasts or keeping secrets about mistakes made or regrets felt. They didn’t have misunderstandings with one another. Neither one knew hurt, emotionally, physically or mentally, and neither could cause the other pain. They didn’t know what it meant to have an argument or disagreement or be estranged from each other. They didn’t know what jealousy was or envy or guilt or shame. They were each individually and personally created by the hand of God and were literally the perfect couple. They are the only two people on this planet to ever experience perfection in relationship and perfection in every nuance of that relationship. 

God designed a relationship between a man and a woman to be the reflection of His relationship with us and He designed different aspects of that relationship to reflect His love and perfection but also to paint a picture of the beauty of the relationship between a man and a woman when it is formed and based in the love of God. He created Adam and Eve in the light and beauty of His perfection, man and woman He created them. They were brought together in the Garden and experienced love and relationship in the freest way possible. We can never imagine what love and relationship like that could be like on this side of Eden. They are the only ones to have the sweet blessing of sharing that love and intimacy completely unashamed and uninhibited by anything. If we could only have a fraction of that kind of love or see a picture of that kind of relationship today. 

Their perfection did not last. They were tempted and their hearts and minds doubted the goodness and total provision of God which led to them questioning what He had told them. Their fall became the fall for the entire world and our lives were forever altered from the state of perfection. Separation was immediately evident between them and God and with each other. Their eyes were opened and they knew they were naked. They were both filled with shame and sudden awareness of themselves. Their eyes were taken off of God and drawn to their own imperfections. They knew they had sinned and their first reaction was to hide themselves from God and from each other. They no longer had the freedom or perfection in their love and relationship. The scars of that decision have followed us ever since.

We come into our relationships with scars and wounds and brokenness. We hurt others and hurt ourselves. We cover ourselves and hide in our pains and insecurities. We try to rid ourselves of the neverending feeling of unworthiness by selling ourselves to whatever will take away the pain and shame that we feel for things done to us or things we’ve done to ourselves. We give our souls to find happiness or peace in others or fill the emptiness in our lives. We endlessly pursue fortune and fame to make ourselves feel better about our lives. But, it always comes down to the same broken emptiness that entered the world the moment we fell from Eden. We are no longer perfect. Just tirelessly seeking and searching for that perfection lost and never to be found again–at least, not without God.

God is love perfected. He literally says that He is love which means anything that love is can only be found in Him. He is the only way we can find redemption from our paradise lost. When Adam and Eve fell in the garden and the relationship between God and man was severed, God gave them the promise of a Savior who would come and pay the ultimate price for that sin. His holiness and perfection prevented Him from being able to have relationship and communion with us. Christ’s sacrifice on the cross made it possible for us to be bought back from our enemies hands and the fate of death and restore our relationship with God. Though we can’t have perfection again on this earth, we can have the promise of perfection in Heaven through Jesus Christ. Relationship with God is the only thing that will give us hope and peace in this life and is the only thing that will make this life bearable. It is only through Him that we can find glimpses of that original love in this life, whether with our spouses or our children, our mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, or friends. We can never truly understand or demonstrate love without God at the center of it. Love without God is not truly love. It will always fall short and come up empty if He is not involved. It is only through Him and the working of His Spirit in our lives that we can find love that is patient, love that is kind, love that does not envy or boast, love that is not arrogant or rude, love that does not insist on its own way or is irritable or resentful, or love that does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices in truth. It is only through God that we can find a love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love in God is free and beautiful and is truly love unashamed. 

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

Whispered Grace

“I fell—Again.” I whispered into the dark silence of my room. My heart ached at the thoughts of what I had given into–Again. I have given into those thoughts so many times and every time I come back to him, it’s different, and yet, every time is the same.

Part of me wants to feel remorse and shame for what I have done, and yet part of me ties me to that world and pulls me away from those feelings of remorse and shame and I don’t want to turn away from those secret desires of my heart. I plunged too deep this time. Every time it gets deeper and further away. Why do we go back to those things? Why do we long for the hurt and crave the pain? Why do we cling to the things that are killing us?

He sits beside me in the darkness. He doesn’t judge me. He doesn’t question me. He doesn’t condemn me. I sit there longing to hear what He will say and yet, I’m terrified. I know I don’t have to say anything to him. I know that he knows. A tear falls silently down my face. What have I done? Why would I betray his love for me yet again? Words won’t form to say I’m sorry. I feel like I have said those words to him over and over and over again. They’ve surely lost their meaning by now. I sit in anguish, at war with myself and with him, and I don’t know what to say.

A gentle hand touches my back. His strong arms wrap around me and pull me into his warm embrace. I try to pull away, knowing I am unworthy of his love, but, he draws me closer and whispers, “I will always love you, my beloved. No matter what.”

“I don’t always love you. Why would you still love me after all that I have done? I have betrayed you so many times. I have given my heart and mind away to so many things. I keep trying to make things work and make things right and I still keep falling apart and falling away. I keep turning myself away from you and selling myself to other things. Why would you still love me?”

“Because, you are my beloved.”

“Ok. I’m your beloved. But, I can’t just come back to you and pretend like those things never happened. How can I say sorry if I can’t guarantee it won’t happen again? I’ve said sorry so many times for this secret sin and desire and keep giving into it no matter how hard I try not to. I don’t know how to say sorry this time or ask your forgiveness again. I–,”

“Don’t,” he gently reprimands. “Don’t do that to yourself again. You and I have already been through this many times before. You’ve put yourself through enough remorse and shame over this throughout the years. You’ve been hurt. You’ve been betrayed. I know why you turn to those things and give into that world. Maybe the one you are having trouble saying sorry to is yourself. Maybe you feel the one you have hurt the most in all this is yourself.”

Thoughtful silence. Moments pass. He continues to sit with me in the darkness and holds me close.

“Let me take your wounded and broken heart and make it whole. Let me take the hurts and the wounds and bring healing to your battered soul. Give your heart to me, beloved.”

“I don’t know how,” I reply quietly. “I’ve tried to give it to you before but I keep holding onto the broken pieces.”

“I know,” he replies.

“Why do I keep on giving into this?” I ask.

“Because, you are looking for something to fill the emptiness you feel inside. Think back to the moments you want to give into those things. Are you stressed? Are you interacting with someone who makes you feel inadequate or unloved? Are you dealing with a lot of insecurities or fears? Are the same things triggering it every time? You keep turning to these things to fill you when I already love you more than anything on this earth. You keep thinking that you are not enough when really you are saying I am not enough. Instead of turning to those things when you are hurting or sad or overwhelmed, turn to the one who truly loves you. Turn to me, beloved, and let me be all those things for you.”

“Oh, Lord. I come to you tonight, humbled and broken. What I thought was healed is still broken and bleeding and I am still hurting and searching for ways to fix it. I am desperately in need of a healing that only You can provide. The wounds of my heart run deep and only You can save me from my wounded self. I am haunted by my betrayals and hunted by my desires. I keep running and hiding and finding myself in the deadly grip of my sin nature yet again. I can do nothing to free myself or find freedom. Please, forgive this wayward soul yet again and bind up the exposed and raw parts of my heart that are hurting and bleeding. Take away the parts that seek to turn from you. Put together the pieces in the way that will glorify You. Forgive me, Father, and turn my heart back to you.”

Eve: Beautiful Perfection

Eve was the only woman to ever experience perfection. She was the first woman on this earth. She was all things new and beautiful. Perfectly hand-crafted by the hand of God Himself. She was the only woman to know the beauty of perfect harmony and relationship with God and with her husband. Nothing separated her from God or from her husband. Unfortunately, every woman who has come after Eve has experienced life fallen. The life we dream about and long for in Heaven was the life she experienced in the Garden. Perfect Paradise.

It is incredible to think about the intimacy with which God created man and woman to begin with. He didn’t just speak them into existence like He did everything else. He took His time in forming them and saved them as the last and highest form of His creation. He wanted to create something in His image that reflected His being and His character. God reached into the earth and formed man from the dust of the earth and then He breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. “And the man became a living creature.” God created Adam with a plan and a purpose but it wasn’t enough to just make Adam. Though perfect in his masculinity in God and the traits God wanted the world to see in him, creation (and Adam) were not complete until God created Eve.

God formed Eve out of a rib of Adam’s side because He saw that in all that He had created, there was not a fit companion for Adam. God created Eve because it was not good for man to be alone. He also created Eve because without her, man could not procreate and fill the earth and multiply. God created Eve so she could create life and carry on God’s creation until the end of time. Adam calls the woman that God hand-crafted for him Eve because she would be the mother of all living. Without her, life on this earth would not exist. 

It is often debated the meaning behind the word used to describe Eve after she is created. God calls her a “helper” and creates her because He saw that it was not good for man to be alone, but often times, this word is translated as a diminished or diminutive reflection of what Eve’s purpose was when God created her and put her in this earth. The word is better translated as Adam’s ezer kenegdo, his “sustainer beside him.” Every other time the word ezer is used in the Bible, it is describing God himself and usually when you desperately need him to come through for you. Eve was created to be the desperately needed sustainer to stand beside Adam and give him the things that God created in Eve to fill and complete Adam. 

Can you imagine what it must have felt like to be Eve? Beauty and creation perfected in her. To be formed by the hand of God from the rib of the man He created. Stretching and feeling the perfectly created muscles and skin that is as perfect and new as a baby’s skin. To be brought to the man as his perfect ezer kenegdo. See the perfect beauty of God’s creation all around you. See animals living and dwelling in perfect peace and harmony. Experience no pain or heartache or insecurities that we all experience and struggle with today. Perfectly at peace with herself and with the world around her. Perfectly at peace with her husband. Actually walking and talking with the God who created you and experiencing perfect relationship with Him, the way He desired it to be. What beautiful perfection. 

As the first woman, Eve was also the first to experience pain, and she experienced it in ways we will never know or experience. The moment she ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, she experienced total separation from God. What once was perfect was immediately torn away from her. Shame at being naked immediately filled her mind and her first impulse was to hide herself away. She desperately sewed leaves together to cover herself. The perfect relationship that had existed between her and her husband was forever lost. She was now ashamed of herself with her husband, ashamed of herself and her choices not to trust God and His provision for her. Regret and heartbreak flooded her heart as she took her life into her own hands and out of God’s. Blame and denial became a part of her vocabulary and altered her response to things for the rest of her life. Once the deed was done, her punishment was pain in childbearing, and her gift to the rest of women for all eternity. What was designed to be a painless and joyful experience was now infiltrated with some of the worst pain a person could experience. Pain had entered the world because of Adam and Eve’s decision. And death was soon to follow. As the first mother, Eve was not only the first to experience the wonder of pregnancy and the pain of childbirth, she was also the first to experience one of the greatest pains a mother could ever experience. Her firstborn son was born with such an angry and distant heart from God that he murdered his brother. Words cannot express the pain of losing a child, and the unexplainable grief and sorrow is compounded when that child is taken away by the hands of another. But, to have those hands be the hands of his own brother would be a pain and heartache that is unimaginable.

As God’s beautiful perfection, Eve was also the main target of Satan’s attack against God’s beauty. He fell in his own beauty and he desired to see God’s greatest beauty fall as well. Satan has a special hatred for the beauty God created in woman and that’s why he went after Eve when he came to them in the garden and not Adam. To destroy Adam would have been damaging, but to destroy Eve, that would be debilitating to the human race. She was the mother of all living. Without her, life cannot continue. Women give birth, not men. Women nourish life. Women bring life to everything they touch. Eve was God’s crown of creation. She was created to be the incarnation of the Beauty of God Himself and she embodies the glory of God. And through her seed, Satan would ultimately be crushed and defeated. Satan hated Eve for all these things and has hated women since. They emulate the beauty that he can no longer achieve or be. Like the prince turned beast whose beauty was distorted and deformed because of his selfishness and pride, Lucifer, who was considered to be the most beautiful creature, fell and became the chief of fallen angels and used his wounded pride to destroy whatever gives the most glory to God and emanates the most beauty and radiance. He has set the world against beauty and especially against women because if they don’t feel beautiful or able to nurture or give life, life won’t go on.

God created Eve with a special purpose. He put within her parts of Himself that were not in Adam and made her to be the first among women. As long-removed daughters of Eve, we carry the same traits and characteristics that God created in Eve. We were created to see beauty in the earth and reveal that beauty to others. We were created to be sustainers and nurturers. We were created to carry the seeds of life within us, and though that doesn’t always come to fruition in the form of a child, we can still use those seeds to bring life to those around us. We were made to be beautiful and be the incarnate beauty of God and embody His glory. 

Daughters of Eve, I call to you to stand firm in your femininity in God. Stand firm in your womanhood. Find the purpose and beauty with which God created you to be and to do in this earth. Look to the one who created you and know that He created you with a purpose. You are His crown of creation and the world is not complete without you. And, He loves you more than you could ever know or imagine. He longs to be in a relationship with you as He was with Eve. He longs to walk and talk with you in the garden and hear your stories or heartaches or joyful moments or sad moments. He longs to be your ezer kenegdo, sustainer beside you, and created you to be a sustainer to those around you. You were mad with a special beauty within you that no one else carries. You carry a special imprint of God that is not in anyone or anything else. Believe in your beauty and don’t be afraid to shine that beauty into the world around you. 

Live beautiful.

In the Beginning, God….

Silence. Darkness. “The earth was without form and void.” Emptiness. 

A word breaks the silence. “Let there be light.” Suddenly, light appeared and pushed back the darkness. “And God saw that the light was good.” Light was a good thing and the first thing God wanted to bring into the dark and empty world. Despite His desire for light to enter the world, He did not completely do away with the darkness that already existed. He kept it as a necessary distinction between light and dark and called the light Day and the dark Night. He who was timeless set into motion the means by which to track time and established the first day. 

On the second day, God spoke again and created an expanse. This expanse would provide the atmosphere and oxygen needed for life to survive on the earth. He laid the foundation for what was to come. He had a plan already in motion and had purpose and order behind His days of creation. It wasn’t just on a whim in the moment like an artist who follows the flow of the moment and adds images or paint strokes as they feel led and are surprised by the outcome. God created with purpose and love and saw each moment and creation as important and vital to the next. Without the previous creation, the following creation could not exist or survive.

Dry land. A place to walk on and the place where much of creation would survive and dwell. A foundation on which to bring forth living plants and animals, but still surrounded by water, because water is as necessary as air for survival. Once the dry land was formed, God called forth plants and seed-bearing vegetation and trees that bear fruit to provide food and all manner of useful things for the coming creation. The third day.

Then, God called forth the bright lights and created the Sun, Moon, and Stars–distinct lights that would mark the passing of days, months, and years. A way to mark seasons and to be used as signs and ways to track the different things necessary on the earth. Again, the darkness was not done away with because dark and night are necessary, but He still created the moon and stars to shine light into the darkness. 

The Fifth day, God filled the seas and air with animals of all kinds followed by land animals on the Sixth day, each according to their kind and purpose. On the sixth day, God began work on His final creation–Man. All other elements of creation were spoken into existence by the word of God, and it was done. This shows His divine power and ability to speak and have something happen. But, when it came to making man, God did more than just speak man into existence. He conferred with His holy three, Father, Son and Spirit, and instead of saying “Let there be,” He said, “Let us make man in our image.” 

What a beautiful picture of God’s desire and intimacy with which He creates man, as if man is the most important part of creation and His most precious and beloved creation. Not only was man the epitome and grand crescendo of God’s creation, God personally touched the earth with His hand to create man. He didn’t just create man to be alone. He saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone so He formed woman using a rib from Adam’s side and put within woman the parts of Himself that Adam couldn’t find in himself. They were both personally hand-crafted by God to bear His image and carry His traits as walking reflections of God on this earth. The rest of creation was created for mankind. Nothing else bears the very handprint of God. We are His image-bearers. The highest form of creation and He created them individually and as man and woman to be together to give us a picture of relationship and how He desires that relationship to look like. He gave Adam and Eve to each other as the picture of perfect love and gave them rule and dominion over the earth, over all the animals and living things on the earth. If we were just happenstance and the result of mindless explosions and evolutions, there would be nothing special about us. What makes us different from anything else on this earth if we all came from the same cell? What sets us apart or makes us set apart as mankind? With a perfect Creator God, we are specifically created with a purpose, set apart and designed to rule. We are designed with a promise and given the experience of being human and intricately and personally known and created by God. We were made to be greater than the rest of creation and were made to take care of the rest of creation. And, God is greater than us because He created us and was kind enough and loving enough to provide everything we would ever need on this earth in the rest of creation. 

The next time you doubt your existence or purpose on this earth, just take a look around and remember that the God who created the beautiful plants and trees and intricate animals and birds and formed the sun, moon and stars, personally and purposely created you. If He cared that much about each plant and bird and detail of creation, how much more does He care for you, dear heart? You are His crown of creation, the apple of His eye. The one He cares about more than anything else on this earth. You were made to be set apart and stand out from the rest of creation, and without you, this world would not be complete.

God Knows

It’s hard to get past things we regret, shame in choices we’ve made, or the depths of pain we feel for things invoked on us by others over the years. I struggle with my own torn thoughts of shame all the time and wonder, “How could God make something new out of something so broken?” “How can He continue to love me and pursue me despite my faults and failures?” As I thought about some of the thoughts and deep desires I’ve given into time and time again over the span of my life, I was reminded of the fact that God knows.

All my life I heard the words of my parents or pastors or Sunday school teachers or anyone else who has shared God’s truth that God knows. Psalm 139 is a pointed picture of God’s knowing–He knows when I stand up and sit down. He knows the words that will be in my mouth before I say them. There is nowhere I can go and get away from His presence. If I go down to the depths of the darkest hell or climb to the heights of the highest mountain, he sees me there. This passage was meant to be encouraging and not a creepy likeness to Santa claus who knows when you are sleeping, knows when you’re awake, knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake! Even though these things ring true for how the psalmist described God in the passage, God wanted his people to know and find comfort in the fact that He is always with us and there is nowhere we can go where He won’t find us and He knows us on a personal and intimate level. He knows every intricate part of our hearts and our lives. He knows the number of hairs on our heads and knows the name of every star in the sky. He tells us these things to show that we matter to him and that his care and love for us is so infinitely beyond anything we can see or comprehend from a human perspective.

Psalm 139 has always been one of my favorite passages in Scripture and I love how it shows God’s knowledge of us. But, the idea of God knowing came to a different light recently. I had felt trapped and pushed to a point of giving in yet again to one of my age old struggles, and almost did give in–almost meaning one foot off the cliff ready to plunge in and wondering if anyone was going to pull me back. Later, after I had practically committed to the fall and had to pulled out instead of back, I thought about that moment and how many times I had fallen into that sin or given into that part of my life for so long. I wondered about God’s love and how He could continue to love me or forgive me, even when I go back to it time and time again. In His quiet, gentle manner, God whispered, “I already knew you would give into that temptation before you did it. I knew that would be a struggle and thorn in your flesh long before the world was made. I know.” I sat there for a moment, quietly reflecting on this statement and thoughts if other fallen heroes of faith came to mind.

“I knew that Moses would get angry and murder an Egyptian before it was even an idea in his head. I knew he would later get angry and strike the rock and he wouldn’t enter the promised land.”

“I knew David would choose to stay home instead of going into battle and what temptations lied in store in the form of Bathsheba. I knew he would give into those temptations and get her pregnant. I knew the idea of having her husband killed to cover up his indiscretion would be planted in his mind and carried out in the cover of battle. “

“But– I still loved them. Not because I knew what other choices they would make as well. Moses repented and finally gave his heart to me and kept coming back to me every time pharaoh and my people rejected him, and it was that continuous returning that made him a hero of faith. I knew David would be heartbroken by his actions and decisions and that some of the greatest Psalms would be born out his brokenness and hardships in life.”

“I knew the outcome of the stories and I knew every time my child was going to turn from me. I knew every time my beloved would seek fulfillment in the arms of another lover. I knew before those things happened if and when my child and my beloved would return to me. But, that knowledge did not keep me from loving them, and it hasn’t kept Me from loving you. In fact, I love you all the more for the broken moments and regretted choices. I love you even when you hate me and fight against that love because I know that love is the only thing powerful enough to change you and change the world. Once you get that love, you can then turn and love others, just as I have loved you. “

Wow. God knew everything I would ever do. Every moment I would be tempted or give in willingly. He knew every part of my temperament that would hurt others or cut people off from me. He knew every heartache, every pain, every sickness, every hardship–everything I would face or experience on this earth before it happened or will happen. He doesn’t just know the experience or circumstance you are in in the moment or what has happened in your past. He knows the beyond what’s happening. He knows whether you will turn back to Him. He knows when you will choose to live your life the way you want instead of living your life for Him. He knows when children won’t ever come back to Him, and that knowledge breaks His heart beyond any pain or sorrow we can ever imagine. But, He also knows when His beloved child will come home or when His beloved will be brought back out of the depths, relationships restored, lives changed.

The knowledge of God is so far beyond anything we will ever know or comprehend. But isn’t that knowledge incredible to think about? He desired to have you on this earth and decided His story would not be complete without you, so He carefully crafted you and created you in the secret place of your mother’s womb and knows every jot and tittle of your life. There will be moments of your life that are messy and broken and filled with shame or regret, but those moments are part of the story God already knew about you and they are part of what makes you and your story you. Without those moments, your story would not be your story. And, those are the parts of your story that God will use to make the biggest impact in the lives of others and show the greatness of His goodness and love in your life.

As you start a new year, I pray you find healing and comfort for the parts of you or your past that haunt you or feel too broken or messed up. And, I pray you find comfort in the God who knows and created you and loves you just the way you are and has a beautiful story to tell with your life if you let Him.

You are wonderfully made. Set apart. Worthy. Made new. Seen. Loved. Forgiven. Never forgotten. Chosen.

Believe in these promises and let the God who knows reach into your heart and show you His love.